How are you with reward systems? Are you the type of writer who says things like: “Okay, just 257 more words, and then I get to eat this piece of cake!”
Or are you more like me, telling yourself that: “Maybe if I eat this piece of cake now, it will fuel and/or inspire me to write!”
It’s not that I don’t have willpower. I’m simply not motivated by reward systems like this. I mean, I have the cake, and I can eat the cake now. Withholding things from myself doesn’t work because I know who’s in charge here, and she’s a sucker.
There’s a lot going on here — including my inability to make and keep commitments to myself, which I think is a topic I’ll discuss another day, when I understand it a bit more.
But there’s also this notion that treats must be earned. That we must do something to deserve good or pleasant things.
It’s weird, because I used to have to earn my creative writing time after a long day of school, extracurricular activities, work, and then homework. I could reward myself with creative writing after a long day of tedium at the office and two board meetings.
Now I reward myself with cake for creative writing. You know… the thing I used to reward myself with for completing what I thought of as my “misery work”.
Again… there’s a lot going on here. But mainly what I think I want to tell you is that you’re allowed to have nice things in your life and you’re allowed to enjoy them.
What about you? Do you let yourself eat cake, even when you don’t “deserve” it or haven’t “earned” it?
Words & warmth,
Sarah