This is The Write Now Podcast with Sarah Werner, Episode 103: Enjoy The Journey.

 

Welcome to Write Now, the podcast that helps all writers, aspiring, professional, and otherwise, to find the time, energy, and courage you need to pursue your passion and write. I’m your host, Sarah Werner.

 

I’m going to tell you, I was really hesitant to talk about this topic. Again, if you skipped through the beginning, today’s topic is enjoying the journey. And the reason I wanted to avoid it, or the reason I was hesitant to talk about it was that it feels so cliche and so trite and so basic. And by that I mean, I feel like it’s advice that I’ve always heard. It’s not new. It’s not groundbreaking. It feels like the type of advice you would get when the other person doesn’t know what to say. Like, “Enjoy the journey.” “Yeah, thanks. I’ll be sure to do that.”

 

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me who feels this way about this topic. And every time I get this piece of advice, and again, it’s a lot, I sort of roll my eyes either inwardly or outwardly, depending on who it is who’s giving me the advice, and I say, “Yeah, I know, I know, enjoy the journey, right.” And if you heard me say, “I know, I know,” just then, then in my voice, you probably also heard a sort of dismissal. Like, “Yes, I know, I know, get it away from me.” But you know what the really funny thing is, I don’t know.

 

I realized the other day that I’m not enjoying the journey, at least not as much as I’d like to. And this became the second reason that I was really hesitant to talk about this topic because while it feels cliche and trite and basi! c, I also feel like I am not qualified to talk about it because it eludes me. Now, I don’t know why I’ve never put much stock in enjoying the journey. I think it’s because I’m always focused more on the future. I’m focused on success, like it’s some kind of end goal, like it’s not where I am right now. I’m the kind of person who says, “Okay, I need to do this and then this, and then this, and then, then I can relax. Then I can feel better. Then I can be happy.

 

But I’ve noticed that there is no finish line. There is no end. There’s just the everyday moments of our lives. And those everyday moments of our lives add up into our creative journey, our life journey. There is no fast forward to the end where we’re happy and successful, where we can actually enjoy ourselves. And because there is no finish line and there is no fast forward button, why don’t we just enjoy what we have right now? Hence my wanting to talk about enjoying the journey today, because we’re never not on this journey. We’re never not growing and learning and writing and participating in everyday life. There’s no off roads. You can take a detour in your journey, but then that detour becomes your journey. So I’m on a journey. You are on a journey. The question is are you enjoying it? Or are your sights fixated on some near distant future? And are you putting off your enjoyments until then, even though the near future never really becomes the present.

 

Over the past couple of days, I’ve given some thought as to why I might not be enjoying my journey and why you might not be enjoying your journey. And if you are, that’s fantastic and I want to hear all about it. Actually this is a great time to tell you that if you want to respond to this episode, if you want to let me know your thoughts and questions and comments, I do encourage you to do so. I read and respond to every single comment I get on one of these episodes. You can do that by going out to sarahwerner.com. That’s S-A-R-A-H-W-E-R-N-E-R.com and navigating to the show notes for today’s episode. This is once again, episode 103. I would love to hear and read and see your comments about whether or not you are enjoying your journey and how you do it.

 

But for me, I have to ask myself a lot of questions. I’ve been thinking about this. The first thing I asked myself was, “What gets in the way? What gets in the way of you and enjoying your journey?” I don’t know if this is way too basic, but I could think of two things, at least for me that get in the way and that is our circumstances and our selves. One of these you can control, and one of these, you cannot. Well, you can have a little bit of control. We’ll say some circumstances you can control.

 

Sometimes you just have to deal with circumstances. Circumstances like illness, having to care for someone, hating your day job, unavailability of money or creative materials, being surrounded by irritating people that you hate, whatever it is your circumstances can get in the way of you enjoying your journey. But for the most part over the years, I’ve found ways to mitigate those external annoyances and distractions, or at least learn to live with them. And really for me today, my biggest thing that gets in my own way of my own enjoyment of my own life and my own creativity is myself, and that manifests in a lot of different ways.

 

First and foremost being, how I choose to spend my time, focus and energy. When you take a step back and look at your life, what is it that you focus on? Are you focusing on the scarcity, the lack, the negativity, the things that you hate, the things that annoy you? Or are you focusing mainly on what’s great and what you enjoy it and what you love, what you’re grateful for, what is abundant in your life? What are you choosing to see? How are you interpreting your own reality? And are you focused on your reality or are you focused on a future?

 

I feel like there’s a huge difference in the life and the experience to journey of someone who daydreams only about the future and doesn’t pay attention to where they are, and yes, I’m guilty of this, and someone who only focuses on the things that they hate, or the things that annoy them and someone who chooses to focus instead on the things that they love and the things that they are grateful for. I want to point out here that it’s not easy.

 

If you’ve signed up for my Dear Creators Newsletters you’ll know, and you’ll have received one of my Monday morning emails talking about how hard it is and how frustrating it is to quote unquote, live intentionally and to live in a place of gratitude. But I think it’s worthwhile whenever you find yourself spacing out during one of your writing or creating sessions to ask, “What am I focusing on right now? What am I choosing to focus on? What am I choosing to see? How am I choosing to spend my time and my focus and my energy? Am I enjoying this moment? Or am I miserable?”

 

Something else that may be getting in our way, and maybe representative of us getting in our own way from enjoying the journey is whether or not we believe we have permission to do so. I’ve talked with some creators who do believe they have permission to enjoy their life and their work, but I’ve also talked to a significant number of writers, creators, et cetera, who don’t feel like they have the permission to enjoy their work, their life, the present.

 

At one time, I was one of these people and maybe deep down, I still am. We’ve been told at some point in our lives, that suffering is noble, or that work equals pain and misery, or that in order for our creative work to be valid, we need to suffer to create it. Maybe we’ve been told this out front, maybe we’ve just kind of picked it up subtly from what we’ve learned from other creators into artists, but you are allowed to enjoy your life and your creative journey. You have permission to do that and your art won’t be any lesser if you’re a happy artist.

 

I feel like sometimes we glorify pain and suffering. And yes, we learn and grow when we experience pain and suffering, but it’s not necessary. It’s not required to be a valid and celebrated writer or artist or creator. I also feel that some of us, as I said earlier, struggle with being present, with being on a journey and we don’t take the time to look out of the window on either side of our metaphorical car that’s driving down our metaphorical journey road. We’re just fixated on what we see as the end of the road, but there’s no end to that road, at least not until our days are done.

 

I don’t have any easy answers or advice about how to be present. I know that some people meditate, some people go on walks and intentionally take in the scenery around them, some people journal and say, “I am here in this moment and this is what I see and hear and feel.” Honestly, I forget to do those things, but I’m trying.

 

Here’s a big question for you. Is the writing process or the creating process enjoyable or is it miserable for you? I know that’s a really big question and it’s not an either or. You don’t either love or hate the entire process. I feel like there are things that we like about the creative process and things that we dislike about it. That’s my question to you right now. In the writing or creative process, what do you like about it and what do you dislike?

 

I know there’s that famous quote that says, “I love haven written. I don’t love writing, but I love haven written.” I think that parses it out very nicely because you can’t get to the thing that you love without going through the thing that is tough and difficult, but in the end it is still worth it.

 

I was thinking about the writing process, the journey. And I was thinking about what I like and I made a little list. I really, really love putting a pen to paper. I love the simple physical act of pressing my pen to a sheet of paper and seeing the ink come out. Every time I write I love it. I don’t know why. It continually fascinates me. I also love having ideas. I love feeling that little explosion in my brain, the little aha moment, the what if. Oh my gosh, I love that. I love having ideas. It’s so exciting and affirming and it makes me feel so alive.

 

I also love sort of fleshing out those ideas. I love seeing where the ideas go, how they sprawl, how they climb, how they evolve. That is so cool. That is the energy of life on the page, and I love seeing it at work.

 

I also love creating character interactions. I love creating two characters and having them interact and having them face conflict or fall in love or solve a problem together or argue or fight. I love creating interesting character interactions. It just brings me so much joy and delight.

 

From a purely aesthetic standpoint, I love the idea of a laptop and a latte. And of course, as I’m recording this, we are in a place of COVID quarantine, and so this is a little bit of a daydream. I have learned how to make my own stove top lattes, and they are very delicious, but there’s just something about sitting in a little coffee shop with your laptop, with a scratch pad, with a pen and a beautiful handcrafted drink that someone has made, and just sipping that beverage and thinking, “Here I am in a place of creativity and possibility,” and just simply reveling in that space.

 

I also love getting inspired. I love reading new books. I love looking at Pinterest boards of inspiration. I love feeling inspired. Now, there is a downside to this that we’ll talk about in a little bit, but I love that feeling of taking in new information because that’s where a lot of the ideas sparking comes from.

 

I also love feeling proud and accomplished when I’m done writing for the day. When I can look and see how my word count has grown. When I can look and see that, “Oh man, I’ve written three pages. I’ve written four pages. I feel really good that I have created something tangible this day.” I love that feeling.

 

I promise this list won’t go on forever because there’s a lot of things that I love about writing and a lot of things that bring me joy. But my last one for this list is being able to luxuriate in the process. This is probably a whole nother Write Now podcast episode, but I have recently given myself permission to write as slowly as I need to write. Those of you who attend my Wednesday and Friday night live streams may know that I am a slow creator. I am a very slow writer. I am not one of the people who can hammer out thousands of words in a day. I just, for whatever reason, I’m slow, and I have begun to make my peace with that. I am, in doing so, allowing myself in a small way to enjoy my creative journey just a little bit more.

 

These are all the things that I highlight, that I focus on, that I intentionally choose to focus on when I am doing my creative work, the things that I love, but that doesn’t mean that there are not things that I hate about the creative process or that I dislike if we want to use a gentler word. There are things that I find distasteful.

 

For instance, one thing that I do not enjoy about the journey is the fact that I have to sit still to create. I’m not a high energy person, but I feel like the energy I do have is very nervous energy. I need to be pacing. I need to be switching over laundry in the basement. I need to be washing dishes or going on a walk or incorporating some kind of movement. And so I hate it when I’m writing and I have to sit still. That’s just extremely difficult for me to do.

 

Another thing I really dislike is feeling stuck, is figuring out how to get unstuck is feeling like I’ve done something un-doable or I’ve made a mistake that’s unfixable, or that I’ve broken something. I really, really, really hate that. I also hate just feeling like I’m not smart. Earlier I was saying, one of the things I loved was feeling inspired by reading and by taking in ideas. Well, when you let comparison come into the equation, it is very easy to feel un-smart. It’s very easy to feel lesser. It’s very easy to feel insignificant when you’re comparing yourself. And since I’m a human being, I often do this a lot. In fact, there is an entire Write Now podcast episode dedicated to how harmful comparison can be.

 

Other things I dislike about the writing process, the journey toward creation is I suffer from a huge amount of anxiety and depression. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I have trouble sitting still to write and focus, but I have a lot of anxiety. I have a lot of unrealistic expectations that I worry about. I have a lot of expectations on my time and on my production. This is one of the reasons I had to give myself permission to go slow with this process was because I was actually harming my creative process by pushing myself too hard and too fast. I wasn’t creating my best work. And this urgency is really one of the ways in which I get in my own way and enjoying my journey.

 

I don’t want to talk about what I love and hate ad nauseam. I don’t want to keep you here all day listening to this, but this is I think a step, understanding what it is we love about the journey and what it is we dislike about the journey, because that’s going to dictate where we need to direct our focus. It’s also going to direct what we need to change about either our situation or ourselves, and it’s also going to help us understand what we need as writers, as creators on a lifelong creative journey.

 

For example, one of the things I loved was just pressing pen to paper. Well, maybe I can do more handwriting, more writing by hand so that I further enhance that enjoyment, so I get to enjoy the process just a little bit more. We can work to minimize our focus on the things that we dislike, or this is where we can start to change things. For me, I have difficulty sitting still. Maybe I take my phone outside on a walk and I dictate for a while so that I can move, but also get some writing done.

 

Or maybe it’s simply changing my mindset and giving myself permission to write slowly so that I don’t feel that constant overwhelming pressure of, you’re not writing fast enough. You’re not writing fast enough. You’re not writing fast enough. Maybe for me, it’s just quieting that voice and saying, “Sarah, there’s no need to go that fast. Ask for a deadline extension. Give yourself the time you need. Let yourself luxuriate in the writing process. Let yourself enjoy putting each word down on the page, because what’s important to you is the quality of your work and not the speed.

 

Writing and creating is not a perfect process. I’m not saying we can 100% get rid of everything we don’t like about it, but we can train ourselves to focus on the elements that we find more enjoyable. We can realize what it is that’s bothering us, what it is that we don’t like, and we can take steps to change that. We can help ourselves to enjoy the journey just a little bit more every time.

 

I think it’s also helpful to remember that while the creative journey and the creative process is not always easy, and while there will always be things that we dislike about it, it is fulfilling and it is what we are meant to be doing. I know that showing up every day or every week or once a month, whenever it is you are able to find time to write or create, showing up is hard because we have to face so many of those things we dislike, so many of those things that make us uncomfortable. But I think that if we’re able to at least some degree focus on the things that we love and the elements and aspects that make us happy, showing up will be a little bit easier.

 

Reminding ourselves that we love this. And even by saying it as an affirmation, “I love the writing process, even though it is sometimes uncomfortable.” Every day learning to train our focus and being intentional about it, even though intentionality is hard. And being grateful for it, even though gratefulness is hard. I think then that is when we are able to move forward and truly begin to enjoy the journey.

 

Again, I would love to hear your thoughts on enjoying the journey. If you think it’s a terrible cliche, if you think it’s possible, if you think it’s impossible for you, let me know your thoughts. You can do that by going out to my website, sarahwerner.com, that’s S-A-R-A-H-W-E-R-N-E-R.com, navigating to the show notes for this episode, this is episode 103, scrolling down to the bottom and leaving me a comment. I again, would love to hear your thoughts and your experiences.

 

If you’ve listened to the Write Now podcasts before, you know that I don’t make this show alone. I have the help and support and financial generosity of my amazing patrons out on Patreon. Patreon is a secure third-party donation platform that lets you pledge a dollar per episode, $2 per episode, $600,000 per episode, whatever you feel comfortable with. That does go to cover hosting costs, any other costs associated with producing the show. So thank you if you are a patron already. If you are considering becoming a patron, thank you in advance.

 

I would like to thank, especially for this episode, Amanda L. Dickson, Laurie, Leslie Madsen, Regina Calabrese, Sean Locke, T. J. Bricke, Tiffany Joyner, Leslie Duncan, Ricardo Lugo, and Sarah Lauzon. Thank you once again for all that you do. I appreciate it so, so very much.

 

Again, if you would like to become a patron, you can head out to my website and click on help support this podcast. Alternately, you can just go out to patreon.com, that’s P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com and navigate to my page, which is at Sarah Rhea Werner.

 

If that’s something that you feel moved to do, I would deeply appreciate it. If you are financially strapped right now and cannot make that commitment, I totally understand. I totally see you. One of the best ways that you can help the podcast non-financially is just by telling someone else to listen to it. Let them know that the Write Now podcast exists, especially if they are a writer or creator who could benefit from the message. I would deeply appreciate that as well.

 

With that, this has been episode 103 of the Write Now podcast, the podcast that helps all writers, aspiring, professional, and otherwise, to find the time, energy, and courage you need to pursue your passion and write. I’m Sarah Werner, and I’m going to enjoy the journey.