I like honesty. I like realness. I like truth. I’m drawn to it, I savor it, and I generally don’t have time for anything else.
And yet sometimes, when the world boils down around me and it’s just me alone with my thoughts, I find myself neck-deep in… let’s call it crap (a.k.a. gunk, garbage, or my own bull****). This crap includes the limiting beliefs, the comforting lies, the self-sabotaging habits, and all the other ways I hold myself back from living my best and most fulfilling creative life.
I know the crap is there (just as you may be aware of your own), and I try to be aware of when it’s holding me back. But sometimes… well, sometimes it’s a little easier to settle into that comfortable warm muck than it is to fight our way out of it.
Now, I’m the kind of person who loves to be affirmed and cared for and called “hon” by the waitstaff. But when I’m stuck in my crap, telling myself I’m warm and comfortable and happy enough, what I value most is someone who is willing to call me on it. To get me to realize that I’m not actually where I want to be.
This morning, I was in a mastermind meeting and, after skillfully dodging several questions about my creative goals and progress, I mentioned that I’ve read 60 books so far this year.
And then came the tough love, the calling out: “That’s great! And how many have you written?”
…Of course, the answer is zero. I haven’t even finished writing Season 2 of Girl In Space.
The above comment may seem harsh out of context, but during our meeting, it was exactly what I needed to hear — said with love by someone who understands what I want for myself, gets my vision, and wants to help hold me accountable to it.
I’ve gotten to a point where I kind of love to be called out on my crap, because it means that other people know me well and understand my vision. It also means that I have cultivated the kind of friendship with someone where they are not afraid to tell me hard truths. And that’s invaluable.
Do you have someone like this in your creative life?
Words & warmth,
Sarah